Alcohol does interesting things to anatomy

Security officer: Do you have anything in your pocket, ma'am?
Very drunk lady: My pussy.
Security officer: Strange place to keep that. We'll have to have the doctor check that out.

Dispatch cracks me up

Dispatch: Medic 3, police have car pulled over on side of the road. You should run right into them.
Medic 3: *silence*

Food for thought

I've  recently read a series of books and in my sleep deprived post first-shift-of-rotation have been thinking. A bad sign, I know.

So, these books. The newest one released deals a lot with abuse. Of the worst sort, as bad as you can imagine. But the hero, of course, picks himself up and does good things with his life. He's a mess, but he becomes a defender of humanity rather than a predator.

It makes me wonder. I know about the cycles of abuse. I know that children who are abused are much more likely to abuse their children. Daughters who watch their mothers being abused become abused wives. It just goes on and on. And I've seen it. My step-father's father was abusive. My step-father is abusive. And my mom? We'll she's 3 for 4 on abusive husbands.

So, here is what I wonder. Just how do we break the cycle? How do I break it? I don't have children, even though I would like to someday. I've a few hurdles to overcome before that day and yet I have learned some things by tending my younger siblings.

What, you ask? Well, I have to be very very very aware that my first tendency when Shortie makes me mad is to spank him. I know that there are some people out there that say a couple swats on the bottom won't scar a child, and occasionally I agree. But it scares me to think that it's my first instinct. Being 100% honest here, I can only recall spanking Shortie once. But when he was just a little tot, he made a good point.

He lost his temper, as all 2 year olds do. Pissed at Mom for taking something or doing something, he went to hit her. She, of course, spanked him for hitting. And his reply... "You hit me when you're mad." I've occasionally been frustrated enough to want to spank him, but that stops me everytime. And when he did hit me in anger? I asked him if he likes being hit, and sent him to sit on the stairs until he could apologize and verbalize why hitting was wrong.

But off the tangent. I want to know how to change the statistics. Why do I see more kids growing up in to angry, hurt adults than those who change the cycle? I won't deny that I had it rough, but I know people have it rougher. The thought of violence horrifies me...and I wish everyone felt that way too sometimes.

But enough. I should sleep...I have to go back to work soon.

I did it!!

I took my National Registry for EMT-Paramedic. At 80 questions my test shut down. And now, I am pleased to announce ... I am officially a Nationally Registered EMT-P!!!!


In other news, I also graduated the paramedic program with an AS degree and a 3.50 GPA. I have a job offer and another interview next week.

Job hunting

So, I graduate in 6 short weeks.

Terrifying thought, really. Really terrifying, actually.

But I decided that on the brink of free time (ha ha ha) I should start looking for a job. So far, I've applied to four. One place takes medic-students with the understanding they will be medics as soon as we're certified. I've applied to two other places as BLS - because it's very hard to get a foot in the door and they're hiring NOW. Not in two months when we graduate, but now. However, I don't mind a BLS job. I just need a job since I'll be paying back loans and not getting my stipend once school is out.

Wish me luck.

Greatest compliments

A hug from a pt's family/friend to say thank you for helping!
(Even if it caught me by surprise and startled me badly. I don't do well with unexpected hugs.)
A teacher telling you: "You're a natural, it's obvious you love what you're doing."
An even stricter teacher telling you: "Great job."
A student saying: "I understand now!"

Guess it's that time of the year

I'm sick. Not only sick, but sick of being sick. It's been three days now, with a deep hacking cough, headache, plugged ears, non-existent voice and just generally feeling like crap. Today the nose started running. Annoying, let me tell you.

I missed a shift yesterday. 16 hrs and I slept like a...well, like a baby, literally. Except we'll substitute the crying every two hours for coughing. Today I broke quarantine for a class I can't miss, and went armed with tissues and hand sanitizer and sat very far away from everyone in hope of not spreading germs. Four hours and I felt like I'd been hit with a sledgehammer.

I hate being sick. I really do. It turns me into a whiny brat.

Tomorrow I'm supposed to be on shift for a 12hr. Maybe I'll get lucky and it'll be very slow where my lack of voice and coherent though won't be as noticeable. Uhg.

Quote of the day

"At first, you're afraid you're gonna die. Then you're afraid you won't."

Spring semester...already?

I'm a week into spring classes and so far I have...

• Simulated a decompression of my instructor's chest and extricated him (with a lot of struggle and hassle) from a 'car vs bridge'
• Killed the Sim-man
• Told a simulated pt's son everything would be ok while in the middle of CPR. This is bad, very bad.
• Learned that I forgot everything about eggs and ovaries
• Went to the Arrowhead EMS conference and reaffirmed that I LOVE teaching
• Explained 12ld ECG's while drunk. Now I just have to figure them out while sober.
• Made arrangements to ride with another medic to get more experience in the field
• Acquired a new roommate

Meet Sly. Isn't he lovely?

An interesting thought

I borrowed the following quote from Dr. Amy Tuteur (who in turn got it from The Huffington Post). Though her most excellent post has more to do with epidurals during childbirth, this quote stuck out enough that I went back and read the article.

"In fact, for each year that a woman’s first full-term pregnancy is delayed, her risk of breast cancer rises 3.5 percent." 

This quote comes from a new bill (passed by New Hampshire's Tea*coughBAGcough* Party) requiring doctors to tell patients that abortions cause breast cancer. The quote is directly from the bill in New Hampshire and it makes me wonder:

If delaying pregnancy increases risk of breast cancer

and abortions increase the risk of breast cancer

Shouldn't we be encouraging girls to start getting pregnant as soon as they get their period?

This would, naturally, give each girl a great chance at not getting breast cancer. After all, according to this bill, if a girl (let's say she's 12) waits until she's 18 to have her first full-term pregnancy, she's 21% more likely to have breast cancer. Gosh, with that, I'm 45% more like to have breast cancer. I better go put a bun in the oven.

But wait ...

Doesn't the Tea Party advocate ABSTINENCE before marriage?

Now, I know that in New Hampshire a girl can be married at 13 with parental permission (which makes me go WTF??) and a waiver but still...what if she starts her period at 10 like some girls do? That's still a 7% increase.

Besides, what's the odds of getting married at 13 anyway? Most people wait, since most parents (hopefully) would rather keep their CHILD in school and not sell her off in marriage. So...

What I am really getting at is that this is the stupidest and *insert other synonyms here* thing I've heard in a while. After all... "There is no proven breast cancer link to abortion, according to the World Health Organization and the American Cancer Society." (See referenced article for quote). I think I'll believe the WHO and ACS. Idiot TeaBaggers.

Huh, well lookie at that!

It's December. When did that happen?

It's been a busy semester. It's going to be a busy two weeks. Tomorrow I have my ACLS exam and a major Shock and Trauma exam. On Thursday, we have Fall Summatives (OH SHIT!). Then next week, we start pre-finals*, followed immediately by FINALS. I'm looking forward to Winter Break, even though it's been shortened due to a serious of misfortunate events. I have to make up about 80hrs worth of internship due to illness (on my part and my preceptor) and random change in schedules. Ah well, I love being on the truck, so I don't mind cutting my break short.

In the mean time, I'll leave you with this bit of entertainment...

Prof quote of the day

Prof: "...FTD syndrome. You guys know what FTD syndrome is, right?"

Class: "Uhm..."

Prof: "Fixin' to die. It's a scientific term"

Professor quote of the day

“Worked with a guy, we called him Lucky*…He defibrillated himself five times. He had really curly hair…”

*Nickname changed to protect the *cough* innocent

(Note: This is meant to be humorous. We thought it was anyway.)

Word of the day

Abuts: Verb (used without an object)
             To be adjacent; touch or join at the edge or border (often followed by on, upon or against)

As in "The open part of the C-shaped ring, which abuts the esophagus, is connected by smooth muscle."
    ~Essentials of Pathophysiology, Carol Mattson Port, Ch 21 p 516

Learning point of the day...

Evidently Spock has green blood because he is a copper based organism.

The things we learn...

And on that note...

"There are these people with an LVAD in them. No heartbeat, no blood pressure. You listen to their chest and you don’t hear ba-bump ba-bump, you hear whhrrrrrr." ~Pharmacology Professor 

Quote of the Day

"That's how you make a cat sound like a dog, you know? You dump some gasoline on them, light it and they go 'WOOF'."

Tomorrow is the day!

School starts again! I'm excited. And a wee tiny bit nervous. This last week went by so much faster than I expected (it always does, but it always surprises me nonetheless). I've still ironing and boot polishing on my to-do list (as well as reviewing a couple chapters for tomorrow, yay for pre-class assignments) but I'm mostly ready.

Looks good, right? I also have Pharmacology: An Introduction and Bates' Pocket Guide to Physical Examination and History Taking but they are the e-version so I can't put a picture of them up.

I must say, it's not my biggest pile of books ever but I think it may be the scariest. But it's going to be fun, and a challenge, which I need.

On a related though different note, this song came on my radio and I realized ... maybe I should take a chocolate frog to school with me tomorrow...just in case!

Lazy summer days...

...bore the tar out of me.

I decided this morning that I wasn't getting up to my alarm. This is by no means an unusual occurrence, as I firmly believe morning shouldn't happen until around 12pm. So, I got up at 1230. Wandered around looking for my glasses which I'd knocked off my bed sometime in the night. Then I made coffee.

I'm of the opinion that the inventor of coffee should be knighted, sainted and given a public day so we can celebrate.

Anyway, since I know we'll be taking a "I bet you haven't cracked a book since EMT class" test on the first day of medic school I actually went back to my old EMT book to review the bits that I'd had trouble with. Namely cardiac emergencies. For some reason, cardiac calls freak me out.

I think it has to do with the fact that my second ever call on an ALS truck was a cardiac arrest. My medic told me later that her first ever (serious) respiratory call left her nervous whenever she gets one now. We spend respiratory calls with me watching the patient and her watching the road.

Regardless, I read the medication/pharmacology chapter of my EMT book, and part of the cardiac chapter. It only makes me more eager to start class again, because now that I've seen a (tiny) bit, I -know- there is so much more to these calls that I'm missing.

I know that they're not as simple as the scenario's we ran through in class. For example, this is rarely the case:
  PT: My chest hurts.
  QLC: Oh! Your chest hurts! Let me check your ABC's, decide which hospital we are going to, then I shall perform a focus exam while getting SAMPLE.
  PT: My chest hurts. It's a 10/10.
  QLC: Well, from what I gathered, I can tell you you're probably having a cardiac event. Here, chew up this aspirin and since you have been prescribed Nitro, why don't I assist you with taking those?
  PT: Oh, that's lovely. My chest doesn't hurt any more, but  now I have a headache!

No, never that simple. After a couple runs, I could fumble through setting up the ECG - though I still have no idea how to read them. And I figured out how to spike a bag pretty easily, and pass things. But I want to know more!

I want school to start!

I want my ambulance rides back!

I even want my captain's chair back. I figured out how to make it into a roller-coaster feeling seat when we go lights and sirens.

I just came to a random conclusion: It's a good thing I'm not filthy rich, I'd die of boredom if there was nothing to get me out of the house. Huzzah for school.

Yeah!

Scored a new couch today. Well, a new old couch. It's new to me, even if it is pretty banged up. But now I have somewhere to sit!!

I used to sit on a futon that was covered in plywood upon which sat a very thin pad. But now I have a lovely green love seat and it's soft, and squishy and I'M SO HAPPY!!