Food for thought

I've  recently read a series of books and in my sleep deprived post first-shift-of-rotation have been thinking. A bad sign, I know.

So, these books. The newest one released deals a lot with abuse. Of the worst sort, as bad as you can imagine. But the hero, of course, picks himself up and does good things with his life. He's a mess, but he becomes a defender of humanity rather than a predator.

It makes me wonder. I know about the cycles of abuse. I know that children who are abused are much more likely to abuse their children. Daughters who watch their mothers being abused become abused wives. It just goes on and on. And I've seen it. My step-father's father was abusive. My step-father is abusive. And my mom? We'll she's 3 for 4 on abusive husbands.

So, here is what I wonder. Just how do we break the cycle? How do I break it? I don't have children, even though I would like to someday. I've a few hurdles to overcome before that day and yet I have learned some things by tending my younger siblings.

What, you ask? Well, I have to be very very very aware that my first tendency when Shortie makes me mad is to spank him. I know that there are some people out there that say a couple swats on the bottom won't scar a child, and occasionally I agree. But it scares me to think that it's my first instinct. Being 100% honest here, I can only recall spanking Shortie once. But when he was just a little tot, he made a good point.

He lost his temper, as all 2 year olds do. Pissed at Mom for taking something or doing something, he went to hit her. She, of course, spanked him for hitting. And his reply... "You hit me when you're mad." I've occasionally been frustrated enough to want to spank him, but that stops me everytime. And when he did hit me in anger? I asked him if he likes being hit, and sent him to sit on the stairs until he could apologize and verbalize why hitting was wrong.

But off the tangent. I want to know how to change the statistics. Why do I see more kids growing up in to angry, hurt adults than those who change the cycle? I won't deny that I had it rough, but I know people have it rougher. The thought of violence horrifies me...and I wish everyone felt that way too sometimes.

But enough. I should sleep...I have to go back to work soon.

I did it!!

I took my National Registry for EMT-Paramedic. At 80 questions my test shut down. And now, I am pleased to announce ... I am officially a Nationally Registered EMT-P!!!!


In other news, I also graduated the paramedic program with an AS degree and a 3.50 GPA. I have a job offer and another interview next week.

Job hunting

So, I graduate in 6 short weeks.

Terrifying thought, really. Really terrifying, actually.

But I decided that on the brink of free time (ha ha ha) I should start looking for a job. So far, I've applied to four. One place takes medic-students with the understanding they will be medics as soon as we're certified. I've applied to two other places as BLS - because it's very hard to get a foot in the door and they're hiring NOW. Not in two months when we graduate, but now. However, I don't mind a BLS job. I just need a job since I'll be paying back loans and not getting my stipend once school is out.

Wish me luck.

Greatest compliments

A hug from a pt's family/friend to say thank you for helping!
(Even if it caught me by surprise and startled me badly. I don't do well with unexpected hugs.)
A teacher telling you: "You're a natural, it's obvious you love what you're doing."
An even stricter teacher telling you: "Great job."
A student saying: "I understand now!"

Guess it's that time of the year

I'm sick. Not only sick, but sick of being sick. It's been three days now, with a deep hacking cough, headache, plugged ears, non-existent voice and just generally feeling like crap. Today the nose started running. Annoying, let me tell you.

I missed a shift yesterday. 16 hrs and I slept like a...well, like a baby, literally. Except we'll substitute the crying every two hours for coughing. Today I broke quarantine for a class I can't miss, and went armed with tissues and hand sanitizer and sat very far away from everyone in hope of not spreading germs. Four hours and I felt like I'd been hit with a sledgehammer.

I hate being sick. I really do. It turns me into a whiny brat.

Tomorrow I'm supposed to be on shift for a 12hr. Maybe I'll get lucky and it'll be very slow where my lack of voice and coherent though won't be as noticeable. Uhg.

Quote of the day

"At first, you're afraid you're gonna die. Then you're afraid you won't."

Spring semester...already?

I'm a week into spring classes and so far I have...

• Simulated a decompression of my instructor's chest and extricated him (with a lot of struggle and hassle) from a 'car vs bridge'
• Killed the Sim-man
• Told a simulated pt's son everything would be ok while in the middle of CPR. This is bad, very bad.
• Learned that I forgot everything about eggs and ovaries
• Went to the Arrowhead EMS conference and reaffirmed that I LOVE teaching
• Explained 12ld ECG's while drunk. Now I just have to figure them out while sober.
• Made arrangements to ride with another medic to get more experience in the field
• Acquired a new roommate

Meet Sly. Isn't he lovely?